See what happens when I'm bored?
by Rose Briar
Summary: Funny Stories......... This is the first chapter at my attempt to be amusing so stick with me. It's sex obessed soap, so readreveiew!
1. The Auddition

Disclaimer: yah yah............ don't own Harry Potter, a PMSing mad women owns it............. well actually from that description I might own Harry Potter (looks side to side and sighs) oh well JK Rowling owns it  
  
******  
  
Scene 1: auditions  
  
"Okay people, I'm the writer of this lil story. I'm casting right now Ginny." A young beautiful girl with brown hair and a awesome fashion sense looked over her characters. She flashed an scary but wonderful smile. Then eyed all the guys and some of the girls too.  
  
"Anyway will the first in line please step up to the stage?" At this remark a cute blond came up and raised his oh so perfect eyebrows up at the writer in a suggestive way. She did the same.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Draco Malfoy," he said in a cool tone.  
  
"Age?"  
  
"You haven't told me yet."  
  
"Oh yeah...... okay you're about 15."  
  
"Sex?"  
  
"Undecided."  
  
"Well you won't suit as any of my characters so I'll cast you as my boyfriend."  
  
"Do I still get paid."  
  
"Well not in that way," the girl said in an ultra sexy tone.  
  
"Yeah..... No wa-" At that moment she leaned over and gave him a long passionate kiss which turned into a little more but was cut off by a............  
  
"Excuse me," a young kinda sexy guy with circle glasses and big green eyes that JKRowling is ALWAYS talking about came on stage. "Ummmm...... I don't want to see that, I want to participate."  
  
"How dare you try to take my girl Potter!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I want her!"  
  
"Boys Boys, we can share me........," she turned to Draco's angry face. "Or maybe we won't sorry Harry you just aren't as sexy........" she turned to Harry's angry face. "And, uhhh, ummm, well I want to cast you as Ginny. You would be perfect."  
  
Harry looked as happy as Natster in a candy store. (A/N that's VERY happy)  
  
"Anyway.......... Harry you okay? Well that doesn't matter the part of Harry is now up."  
  
"Am (gasp) I (gasp) late?????" A slightly short girl with wavy short blonde hair and bright light brown hair came running into a room. She was out of breath. "No duh," Harry said under his breath. "Shut it Harry."  
  
"Buttercup, right."  
  
"Shut it, Erika........ or Rose as you named yourself. My name is Cat Bee I mean, no, Caitlyn."  
  
"Cat Bee would you please come on stage and do the chicken dance for me."  
  
"Chicken dance? I prepared a monologue......."  
  
"NO, Chicken Dance!!!!"  
  
"Okay.... fine."  
  
(music starts and Buttercup starts doing the chicken dance. She's horrible.)  
  
"Cat Bee I have the perfect part for you."  
  
"Really???" Cat Bee's eyes were glowing.  
  
"Yea. Harry."  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" (her voice echos strangely)  
  
"Next." (Cat Bee is dragged off stage)  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Ginny Weasley."  
  
"Ahh.... you shall be a rooster."  
  
"Wait, NO!" (she cries)  
  
"Fine crybaby, you can be Cat Bee."  
  
"Okay......"  
  
"Now that were done........."  
  
"You're not done Eri- I'm mean Rose. Don't be mad...... You have a whole set of characters left."  
  
"Draco, no I don't."  
  
"Yea you do.... Don't hurt me."  
  
"Fine, screw the auditions. Everyone go back to being yourself." (Notices Draco is leaving)  
  
"Except you Draco."  
  
"Who will play me?"  
  
"Ahh......... You, the cute redhead and lovely brunette will take his place. Names?"  
  
"Britt and Natster. We're only two of your best friends."  
  
"Ahh.... so you are.... okay since you're friends you can also serve as main characters and comic reliefs."  
  
"Now go away so I can make out with Draco."  
  
*****  
  
K this was the introduction, story soon. Anyway this was revenge towards Analynne  
  
(on my fav. authors list.) Check her out and while your at it check out NatsterSugerRush (also on fav. authors list.) they're awesome!!!!!  
  
luvs to all! 


	2. Horny Harry?

A/N: Okay so the last chapter wasn't as funny to yall as it was to me but that's okay. This is my ultra drama story. Don't tell me that all my stories are like that!! Ummm.... I don't even know what I'm gonna write so I can't tell you, sry.  
  
(The scene opens upon a a cute black hair boy walking up a stairway. A creaking bed and loud grunts are audible. Harry freezes as he hears a loud groan.)  
  
'Not again,' Harry thought, frightened. He slowly inched the door open and peeked in. He twitches as he hears Hermione's loud squeaks.  
  
"Harry is that you???" Ron paused and there was murmurs. "Harry, come join us!"  
  
Harry would have left but he was hungry. He innocently opened the door and jumped on the bed, onto Hermoine who let out an uncomfortable grunt. Harry started humping away. Hermoine screamed and Ron stared, clearly scared.  
  
"Harry!!!!!!! Why the fuck are you humping my teddy bear??"  
  
"Oh is that what you call it you dirty girl??"  
  
"Harry! Look down, me and Ron are watching Magic MM news. You're humping the voodoo teddy bear that Ron witched to look like Draco. Harry!!! Stop humping the teddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come down here and help us give each other pedicures. Then maybe you can torture little Draco.  
  
Ron let out a little squeak.  
"Harry, stop humping Ron!!!! Here, take lil' Draco and have fun."  
  
Once Harry had left, Hermione turned to a frightened Ron. "He still hasn't gotten a girl friend?" Ron shook his head and stared at Hermione's boobs,  
drooling. "Okay, it's time to call in the square. They will see to it that Harry is no longer horny. Will call them up later, right now I will see to your problems. Down went Ron as Hermione dragged him over her, barely breathing as they kissed passionately. Ron shivered as Hermione took the lead, and just as things were getting interesting........ Neville walked in.  
  
He fell to the floor in tears before Harry came and attacked him, poor fellow.  
  
A/N: I just couldn't help it..... hehe. 


	3. Truthfully fun

Disclaimer: Well, whatever. I don't own Harry or the gang. They all may be my sexual slaves but some woman in England made them up.  
  
A/N: Hey. I love my last chapter but this is my comic relief/soap opera. Someone should review instead of reading it guilty.  
  
….  
…….  
…..  
  
"Caitlyn! Someone is calling, saying that Harry is humping things again."  
  
"What? Erika, you have a restraining order, remember?"  
  
"NO! Not that Harry!"  
  
"Hogwarts Harry," a redhead called.  
  
"You don't have to scream. I'm right on top of you," Caitlyn responded. Giggles were heard as Britt and Erika rolled their eyes.  
  
"Okay. So, we'll be able to see that hunk, Dumbledore, again right?"  
  
"No, not you. Remember you got arrested last time you saw him," Britt reminded quite logically.  
  
"Not like you could ever do that move," Erika defended.  
  
Somewhere a person was screaming in the phone. The girls grew silent as they heard the moans.  
  
"Harry……. STOP……. No, don't stop that! Harry! Don't hump Ron! Get off Neville. uhhhhhhh………. Yeah that's it. There you go you bad boy…." A woman's scream was heard as the girl's listened, interested. "HARRY POTTER! What the fuck are you doing on Draco? Don't you try to look innocent! You can't have an amazing orgy with Ron, Neville, and I only to go hump a stuffed doll!! Harry, don't you have any self-respect? Don't you have any dignity- Oh…. Ron……. Damn……."  
  
The girls exchanged glances. Caitlyn took the phone.  
"Yea, we'll be there," she said in a hurried voice. "See you all soon!"  
  
The girls gawked at the hung up phone, that is everyone but Natster. They all exchanged looks and finally saw Natster's guilty expression.  
  
"Nat, what did you do," Britt inquired.  
  
"Nothin," Nat replied inconvincibly. The girls waited. "Okay, I went to cast a spell yesterday. I was trying to make Hogwarts more fun, for Harry. Well I made a tiny mistake….."  
  
"Tiny?"  
  
"I kinda said they should act more like us. I also said Harry should have more fun than anyone else but that everyone should join in once in awhile."  
  
Erika and Caitlyn smirked, ideas popping up in their one-way heads. Britt looked stern.  
  
"And why did you do this Nat," Britt asked as Erika and Caitlyn exchanged excited looks.  
  
"Well, if he wanted fun, he'd have to come here. We're muses, we have the most fun out of everyone."  
  
"OFF TO CALAFORNIA," Erika yelled as she and Caitlyn ran around in circles with their arms up, making plane noises. "TO CALIFORNIA!"  
  
"Oh, will yall shut up for a moment," Britt snapped. The girls ignored her. "Anyway, it's England, not California."  
  
"That's what she s-----" Caitlyn started but bumped into Erika. Erika had frozen in a pose with her hands in a ball in a praying sort of position and her eyes huge and actually sparkling. Caitlyn poked her and Erika swayed, frozen like a statue. Caitlyn giggled and started poking Erika. They all stared for a while before resuming conversation like nothing had happened (except for Erika who was frozen and glowing).  
  
"There only seems one logical answer. We have to go to England right this very second."  
  
"Ohhhh….." Caitlyn and Nat whined. "What about our soaps?"  
  
"Okay, right after our soaps."  
  
They watched exactly 6.5 hours of T.V. soap-operas before strapping Erika to a broom and all flying away. Erika's eyes reflected the sun and caused global warming……. But that's another story..

A/N:  
I know it's not as funny but well I'm tired.


End file.
